I can't explain, its a tilt of the head, the eyes, its a complete knowing that my T does care. It took me while to understand that because my idea of caring was really messed up. When I first came out of the haze of alcohol and started mingling with people in reocvery, I felt as if they all cared, because they said so, they said all the right things, they hugged and spoke of sweet jeasus and every other wonderful words, but when the going got tough, they judged, criticised, they were gone, because I wasn't allowing them to keep up their own fantasys of being caring people, I was challenging them. They weren't prepared for that, they wanted me to allow them to act out their inabilitys in being intimate without them having the first clue what being there for someoene and really caring meant.

I thought it meant a stroll down a path of gold and ever so ever so nice words spoken. I know today what really caring about another humanbeing means, and sometimes it maybe something that doesn't feel good for us, its someone putting in place their personal boundaries, its someone allowing us to grow, to be, I think I can trust T does those things today.

Its those with eyes that lie I do not trust.