Yeah... the thing is... there's an invisible free-floating line... (sort like an invisible dog fence... except that it moves around.) I never know where it is for certain. I know for sure that some things are out beyond it & I don't go there. But other things lie closer to the line. And they can be either inside the line, or outside, & I don't know until I try to go there. Then, if it turns out they're outside, when I cross the line, I get slapped! It keeps me guessing. And all the while I continue to struggle against this "transsexual imperative" that has been a part of my life as far back as I can remember... probably farther... it's stress-producing...