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seeker1950 said:
Wants2fly!!! This is a great subject and thread for discussion!
I think I agree with the comment that it means one has moved on, rather than no life experience. I too am mid 50's, and have a huge load of experience. But...just let me share some examples:
The fella who sat over his "Surf and Turf" weeping over his girlfriend leaving him.
. . . This was our first and only meeting, but I actually got several angry emails from him thereafter because I didn't invite him home with me for sex!!! Now that's baggage!
I've also dated a couple of fellas for more than one date who talked incessantly of their exwives...obsessively. I guess that's "baggage" too! These men were very bitter about their losses financially and were very stingy also! I began to actually feel this was the "norm" at my age.
Have even stopped thinking of meeting anyone now!
Patty
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These are good examples of "baggage" that not only is going to adversely affect the future but makes it seem like torture to spend even a few moments in the present with these fellas. It has been good to get this perspective on what may be meant by baggage.
Well, I know [i]I[/ii] have a lot of baggage, and I guess that's why I merely scan the ads once in a while without actively seeking contact. However, I would call what ails me and the men in these stories is that we are
seriously wounded.
I guess it wouldn't sound very good to write that in an ad; I don't want anyone who is still
seriously wounded from your last encounter with the opposite sex. And, of course, so many people are in denial: Who me, wounded? Unh, uh, I just hate that loser, and s/he deserves it. Let me tell you about it . . .
I still have dreams every now and then of absolutely screaming at some male. These dreams scare the dickens out of me, because I rarely act like that -- meaning I haven't behaved like that since 2003 when I was abruptly abandoned by a very longterm partner. But it is clear to me the wound is still filled with pus that oozes out when I'm unconscious in dreamland. That is why I merely peruse the ads.
I also am glad that so many of you share my feelings that a person who writes "I don't anyone with baggage" is out in lalaland somewhere. I wondered if it was just me who decoded that phrase as a bit unrealistic.
People have children, ex's, debts, parents and close friends who are dying of one disease or another, jobs that are being downsized, health problems . . . and they have to handle all that plus the brand-new relationship with a wannabe beloved.
Thank you so much for all the responses and frank discussion.