My T of 6 months and I often email in-between our weekly sessions. She might ask how I am doing, but usually she sends me info about an upcoming event or articles on conditions or treatments. I can email her with questions or info as well. It is a very nice, casual exchange of emails that helps to bridge a safe, trusting connection.

There have been a couple of email exchanges over the last 4 days (since last session). The first was initiated by T, the email today was initiated by me. The vibe I am getting from her in these emails are cold. Her responses are very short, and not “colorful” like usual (ie. Instead of saying “have a good day,” T will say, “I pray your day will be overflowing with the pleasantries of hope and light” or something). Something is not right. This I know.

I absolutely understand T is a human being before being a therapist. She has life struggles just like the rest of us. In fact, she has told me of some of her life struggles. At our last session, she told me something seriously deep about her childhood. I was floored, and did not have a response. I still feel terrible about my reaction to that, and plan to apologize at our next session.

What can I say to my T and how? I would like to ask her how she is doing via email tonight, but, she doesn’t need me as her support system (she often tells me the importance of having a good support system and that she has this; also started seeing a therapist herself. Plus, even though she does share quite a bit of personal info with me, I am but a mere client to her). But would it be the gesture that counts? Or is it just not necessary? Could she find me to be taxing or selfish because of my extremely poor reaction to her telling me a very personal life situation? Is that the root of the cold emails? Should I email her my apology now or can I wait to do it verbally in a couple of days?

I tell ya, this is eating me up. On a side note, this makes me happy because it means I care. It feels so good to care again. So many questions run through my mind. I'm sure I'm just paranoid. I think she is probably just hurting as a human right now.