i have had a long history of sexual abuse in my family.
i recently found out that my mother was sexually abused by her father (my grandfather). this got me thinking of the times that i remember him inappropriately touching me. however, im not sure if it really "counts" as sexual abuse/molestation. i was about 6/7 and i was sitting on his lap. the next thing i remember the has his hands on the outside of my clothes around my private area. another time i remember him coming in a little too close for a hug. does this count as sexual abuse or am i just misintrepeting it?
i am also confused about a possible rape. when i was about 8 i was at my house with my brother and his friend. they were babysitting me so my parents weren't home. i was in my room when my brothers friend (who was probably 12 at the time) came in. i had always had a crush on him, and he knew about it. he told me that i should kiss him, i really didn't want to, but he talked me into it by saying "everyone does it" and "its no big deal". so i did it. then he asked if he could touch my breasts and genetials. i said no. he then said "if you don't i will tell your mom that you were mean and bad today. then you'll get in trouble." that worried me but i said no again. he then said that he would hurt me very badly if i said no again, so i had better say yes. so i did. he reached inside my shirt and touched me. then he put his hand inside my pants and underwear and continued to touch me. he then asked if i would have oral sex with him. at the time i didn't even know what it was! he then said that he would tell my mom if i didn't. i still said no. then he said that it was no big deal and everyone was doing it. i said no again. then he said if i didn't then he would hurt me. so i got scared and said yes. this would happen three more times.
is this rape? or consentual sex? i am very confused about it and i need some guidance. if anyone understands or is in the same boat, feel free to talk to me!