Thanks Ididit - I am struggling to figure out how I will work through these feelings... I can see the link between early experiences of not receiving the love or care I needed, but I can't see how that is resolved through therapy, when it feels as though I'm just replaying the same pain, the same rejections, the same distance issues. I sort of just throw my love out there, to see if it sticks and it never does.

The worry I have about leaving though, is that I might just keep doing the same thing with every therapist I find, and how will I ever work through it if I keep leaving? I'm also in a vulnerable state and I feel as though he is the only stable emotional support I have at the moment, at least the only one who is sticking around - I guess I'm worried I will break if I leave. I think either way, I have to speak to him about it somehow, the thought makes me feel sick though.