Didgee, your post reminded me of my first depressive episode. I was 25 years old. Besides the awful emotional pain and suddenly increased social anxiety, it was terrifying to find myself unable to get out of bed on time in the mornings and to find that the way my mind usually worked had changed in so many ways.

I don't think you said, but I hope you are seeing a therapist and taking meds.

Because this is the first time you've experienced this, I'm guessing you're having a hard time believing it's not going to be permanent. That's what happened with me. This forum may help you with that. The depression will get better. The stories of all the people who have ever been depressed will tell you that. Try to hang on to that.