First of all I'm not suicidal at all, however I am currently going through a rather difficult time in my life. ALSO, this is my very first time seeking outside help, let alone my first time forum (not a super great introduction to threads). But here is my story.
I have been in college for awhile and out of the years I have been here, not a single one is positive. Beginning it, I was a very fat person and was always teased about my weight and being one of those nerdy kids, I was picked on by the high school peaked freshmen who later brag about getting sex. However I was always that nice guy that people would go to to talk if help is needed. When the glorious act of sex was going on throughout the halls, I was the only one by myself in my room. Dating seemed impossible and was always told no. I've tried being cool or hip, I even developed a whole second persona that is a complete reversal of who I am. I even spent a year losing weight dangerously (100lbs in less than a year) just to change my outward appearance in hopes someone would find me attractive. When I was deemed "fit" I tried to go on dates again, however I can never get a second date because I'm just that nice nerdy kid that's weird, so I've never had a girlfriend. I can't help being who I am and I know omitting most things that make me me will make me feel empty. Like a piece of hollow clay that's just being molded into an acceptable shape but with no interior, it just falls. Bottom line, I'm just really sad and quite lonely and I really do not know what to do. I've spent days in my room just doing nothing, reflecting on what is negative about me. With no insight from failed dates I have NO idea what I'm doing wrong as a person and it makes me feel ******. Just any help would be nice