I met with T again today. For various reasons, I ended up speaking with her again over the phone. Both in session and over the phone, I noticed that she seems to be on "high alert" in regards to my safety. We have talked about my past around suicide attempts and ideation. I have also admitted to her that the sui ideation is constant, but at this time managable.

She doesn't know me well. I don't know her well. This was maybe the 5th session. I get why she doesn't trust me. But I don't want to make her more worried than "necessary" (ie: if I tell her I'm going to off myself, ok, be worried. But if I don't say or do anything, I don't want to cause undue stress simply by existing or being honest). I worry about "crying wolf" without actually meaning to. I don't want to be brushed off if I ever do get to a point of disclosing actual intent.

So my question is: do I call T and leave her a message apologizing if I have come off as being unsafe (or potentially so)? Do I try to explain that I would reach out if things got really bad? Is there a way to help T trust me on this? I know she has access to the file from my other T at this agency, but I am not sure that T put anything in writing around my safety... Is there anything other than building trust over time that I can do to help T feel better about this? I really don't want to stress her out...