Thanks guys.

My T has encouraged me to stay in hospital as he doesn't think I am stable enough to manage on my own. I think he is right but man I long to be home, away from the noise by the beach where I live. Now a nurse knows how desperate I have felt in the last few days (I just confessed to her) I know my psychiatrist will not sign off on my discharge so if I want out soon I will have to sign myself out AMA (against medical advice) and if you sign yourself out AMA then it is very difficult to work with that pdoc and hospital again...so I guess I will be staying here a while longer.

I do listen to a lot of music and that does help, in fact playing my guitar and singing helps but I cannot make that kind of noise throughout the day, only at certain times. My Mum took me out for coffee today and will do the same tomorrow. My boyfriend is unfortunately on a work trip in Sydney so I have not been able to see him. Bad timing all round really. Right now I am exhausted so I will head to sleep soon. At least I am sleeping ok. I have plenty of support too, which I am thankful for. I just need my mood to shift and break through the despair and hopelessness I am drowning in at the moment.