I have had the worst 2 months of my entire life. It all started back in summer when I was visiting a female friend I haven't seen for a long time. (I'm a female). I was feeling so excited and happy because me and her had been arguing on and off, so I felt happy that everything was fine. When I later went to bed I started to question "why do I feel happy?" and the thought came from nothing, "What if I'm gay?". I started to obsess about the thought and felt immense anxiety. I couldn't sleep the whole night because I was obsessing about it, questioning every sec "What if I'm gay?" "Am I gay?", and then intrusive thoughts came up about me kissing my friend and I felt disgusted, terrified and I felt like being suffocated by the anxiety.

Since then, I have obsessed about this on and off every day. It went away after a week, but seemed to stay in my subconscious mind as I was testing and checking, looking at other females and valuing my reaction. I was so scared to be with my friends because I felt immense anxiety when being with them, a type of feeling I have never felt in their company. The intense anxiety was eating me inside-out, and I felt handicapped. It returned strongly than ever. 2 months ago, the intrusive thoughts showed up again. I started to obsess about being gay and the anxiety caused me to shake in panic. I was crying and my mother had to hold me still and calm me down. I lost my appetite and didn't eat for days. The obsessive thoughts just kept going on repeat and it was all I ever thought about for a week. I couldn't sleep properly because the thoughts was always there. Imagine not sleeping more than 3-4 h per night for a week. I was extremely exhausted. The obsessions would not stop just by questions, I was also analyzing my childhood memories to see if I ever was attracted to females. Even if I recall only being attracted to guys and only desiring to have sex with guys, the intrusive thoughts made me believe it was all fake attractions and that I've been living a lie.

Some days after that, intrusive images popped up of a child memory I had back then when I was 10-11. I was sitting with my parents colleagues child in my lap, he was 4-5 at the time and I was helping him with getting off his pants. I remember accidentally touching his genitals and the image of this has repeatedly been in my mind, telling me I'm a pedophile. This caused me intense anxiety and I felt sick. Sick of these thoughts and images being brought up and making me feel horrible.

Then after this, I would begin to analyze myself through my childhood. I've always been kind of a tomboy because I was playing football (soccer) in my early teens and I was interested in sports and video games. I grew up with an older brother and sister, and while my sister was more older than us I was hanging out with my brother a lot and he introduced me to videogames etc. And I didn't really have an interest in fashion, make up until high school where I would enjoy dressing up, putting make up on when going to parties making friends and looking at hot guys. I'm still a tomboy because I still have interests in sports and videogames, but I don't mind occasionally dressing up or putting make up. After doing this analyze day after day, a voice in my head would start saying "you are a tomboy, so you are a lesbian and have always been", and then the thought started popping up "What if i wanted to be a man because i'm a tomboy?" ´, although I have never questioned my gender before and are proud to be a woman. In fact I always enjoyed when people thought it was odd for me liking sports and videogames when I was a woman, and I remember thinking "I'm a really special girl and person" and it made me feel well.

If you have read this long text, I will applause you and thank you from my very heart because I'm in a lot of distress right now. I have been in contact with former OCD-sufferers and they all say that what I'm experiencing is a form of OCD. I've had anxiety-issues since I was 11 years old, primarily panic anxiety which I felt cured from in 4 years where I rarely expressed any symptoms.

Anyways, this is the last question. I just want to ask and see if this has anything to do with OCD. I have as long as i remember, been biting of the skin around my fingertops, the skin around my toes and the skin around my lips. I've eaten it, just like some people eat nails. (Also bite on nails but I don't eat it). I recall sitting in my room using pincets or small scissors pulling of the skin from my fingertops around the nails and from my toes. I have never been able to stop with this and my parents would always adress this and say to me "stop biting!". I would stop at the moment but then continue when they didn't see me. I bite and drag of skin daily, whether it be from fingertops or lips, also sometimes I feel a strong urge to it and sometimes I'm not even conscious I'm doing it. I have wounds around my fingertops and sometimes I even bleed because i bite of the skin to deep. I know this is a sick behavior but I haven't been able to tell what it's called or if it has something to do with OCD.

Please help me, I want to know if this is OCD or denial? Am I really gay, pedophile, trans and a finger-skin eater? I get intense anxiety when I enter these periods of obsession and currently I have intrusive thoughts about being gay and constantly checking/asking myself and reassuring. Please help me