Thanks for this perspective. I agree you have to work for what you want but when being depressed and stuck in a situation for several years thatīs nothing you just do.
Itīs a fine story about your T, that she finally became a mother. I realise you canīt plan everything and sometimes you get something that makes your life more positive without knowing you wanted it from the beginning. But when you lack a lot of things, as I think I do, youīre not able to see how life may get any better and thatīs also why I compare myself. I in a way dream about having a similar life as someone else but I donīt have the energy or competence to get there.
I hope youīll reach your dreams of course, I like people having dreams and thinking about ways of reaching them. To me itīs inevitable to think that I now and for several years back have just spent my life on nothing. I donīt see how to use the university degree I have, Iīm not that interested in my study subjects any longer. There are really a lot of things that stops me from getting the life I want.
When it comes to therapy and being bothered by the T:s personal life, I easily feel worthless and pathetic when being jealous about for example the office sheīs in or something.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel
Hmmm. Let's try a different perspective again. This time let's think about "too late".
First, we don't always get what we want, the way we want it, when we want it. It's true for everyone. And the majority of people have to work for what they want; it's not usually handed to them.
So here's a great example. My ex-T's dream was to be a mother. She was married once, but it didn't work out. She also had a physical issue: she couldn't gain weight. She tried so hard. She even ate during all of our sessions. She was already in her 40's and time was running out. But guess what? She did wind up becoming a mother! Just not the way she planned. She wound up marrying a man who already had a daughter. The child might not be biologically hers, but that is her daughter and she is her mother. Her dream came true. It wasn't too late.
My dream is also to be a mother. Will it happen? I hope so. But I don't know when or how. Maybe natural, ivf, surrogacy, adoption? Maybe I'll be a mother-figure for someone's child? Or I can work at a preschool and get to mother children during the day. Maybe I will only get to mother my furry babies. Idk. But it's never too late.
I don't know yet how I can achieve other dreams of mine. If I didn't have mental health issues, I would have become an architect. Right now, I'm not able to go to college or handle a full-time job. I'll probably never be able to handle a full-time job. But that doesn't mean that I can never become an architect. Even if I did an internship at a company, I design my own house, or maybe build scale models...those are ways to still make that dream achievable.
It's simply changing your views...which isn't simple. But if you do have dreams, you should never give up on them. And yoir dreams are different than other people's dreams. So again, you can't really compare.
|