Somehow I ran the cursor over "submit reply" before I was ready to submit. The edit feature doesn't allow some of the fixing necessary for that post. All that info belongs in with more headings bolded and with this link. The Circle of Trust Approach ? Center for Courage & RenewalCenter for Courage & Renewal

The linked page also includes the Principals of the Circles of Trust and Principles and Practices at Work in the World.

Skeezyks, your idea is a good one and it seems to be in keeping with the general guidelines already in place for the forums. I could benefit from committing to no fixing, advising, “saving” or correcting one another. I have a tendency to be a Ms. Fix-It, although in real life I am committed to not doing things for people they can do for themselves, even when it would be much easier, faster and more efficient for me to do it. Sometimes help is not really helpful, if you know what I mean. I'm much better with action than with words, ie, sometimes I don't know when to shut up. Working on that would certainly be good for me.

Doc John recently wrote a post about forum guidelines. It seemed to be in line with the Practices of the Circles of trust -- honoring confidentiality, for instance. Although most of us are anonymous, the idea of not posting about someone when they're gone is akin to honoring confidentiality. (I do realize the paradox ... I just talked about Doc John and he's not part of this particular conversation. Sorry Doc!)

Then there's Committing to no fixing, advising, “saving” or correcting one another. It's also in alignment with offering support instead of judgment and keeping the space free from external judgment so people can learn to check and correct themselves from within.

Well, heck, I just happen to be a highly judgmental person and make no apologies for it because it's kept me safe, but my T taught me how to think-feel-act in a non-condemnatory and non-punitive way when my inner judgment is telling me someone isn't acting according to Hoyle or me. People mess up, they make mistakes, they do self-defeating things. I don't get to punish or condemn them for that because I make mistakes, too. I'm not a jury of one, although sometimes I'd like to be. Truth is, I give great advice! Or so my ego thinks. Do I follow it myself? Not always. So ... well ... committing to no fixing or advising wouldn't hurt me, just make me twitch in frustration sometimes. I could live with that.

Skeezyks, I think you have a great idea and I like it. The Principles and Practices would certainly benefit me if I applied them to my own life and to interacting with others here at PsychCentral. Yes, there will be drawbacks. Not everyone you meet on the internet is trustworthy. One of the reasons I like PC is because it seems surprisingly free of people who are here to play games or cause harm to others. Are those called trolls in internet lingo? It doesn't feel like there are a lot of them here. People are surprisingly sincere and nice, with some crankiness now and then, but most of us have our own cranky moments so that's something I can live with, too.

I'm game if you are, Skeezyks. I'll follow your lead. Any idea where you'd like to go with this?