My Support Forums - View Single Post - Nearly 3 years after therapist abandonment = healed

angelicgoldfish05 · Feb 11, 2015, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeeJay

My first ever therapist abandoned me two-and-a-half years ago.

I just wanted to share that I am healed from that.

I started therapy with a private practitioner nearly four years ago and the therapist disappeared after I confessed sui thoughts. The therapist was in over his/her head with my issues and the therapist's behavior re-traumatized me.

It's like this therapist held my hand to open a can of worms and then disappeared when it got tough. (My issues are abuse / childhood abandonment / trauma / foster care kid stuff.)

Peejay I am so glad to hear of your journey and a happy ending. So often I lose hope about getting through this same situation myself. But your story gives me renewed hope. I too had a t that was in over his head about my situation. He was a catalyst for opening up pandora's box, and then he abandoned me on top of all that, thereby re-traumatizing me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeeJay

I found a new therapist two years ago and it has been a long journey, but I feel more stable than I've felt in nearly six years! I've learned so much about trauma and I've gotten so many tools for my own healing.

The new therapist has been helping me and I am making some progress. I feel like today was a huge step forward and I thank you for your support. I have spent the past who knows how many years unstable (probably since 2011 or 2010)... I am looking forward to getting stabilized one day also. I'm so glad you got many tools for your healing. You also have a wealth of knowledge about trauma which will help you and many others.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeeJay

I don't mean to brag or boast about this. I really feel thankful and more at peace with myself and the world around me than I thought was possible.

Boast away! I think it is an amazing accomplishment and must feel like such a burden is gone from your shoulders/life. I am so happy for you and thank you for sharing your peace. You did it and you have healed. If I were you I would feel proud of myself for getting through everything you did and are at a place to help out others now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeeJay

I thought that losing my first therapist was the end of the world.

Oh goodness, me too. I am sure I will go through the grief cycle once again, or for the rest of my life. He meant so much to me. But for now, I guess I'm at the acceptance end of the spectrum of grief. It is a good place to be and I am grateful.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeeJay

When I think about my first (bad) therapist now, I'm grateful the therapy ended when it did so that I could find this new therapist who actually knew what she was doing.

I don't miss the first therapist at all. I feel no ties to that person. I feel slightly bad that the person is not that great of a practitioner and I think that I'm a healthier individual than that supposed professional. I am angry at the ex-therapist sometimes, but no longer really sad.

I can't say I relate to all of this because my first t really was a good t and very effective at helping me. This is why is was so frustrating he chose not to help me. I felt I was beyond what he could handle but he still did a good job if that makes sense. When he was present, he was extremely effective as a t for me. I will miss him for the rest of my life. I will move on from wanting him back in my life but I will never forget all the impact he made on my life (good and bad). I am angry at him too though off and on. For now I am at peace.

I'm glad you found a t that has been helpful and effective for you Peejay. It truly makes a world of difference in a person's life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeeJay

That's all.

I don't want anyone to read this and feel bad or judge his or her own progress. I just wanted to share some hope. ...This is the message from the future that I wish my former self had gotten when times were really dark.

So often, people share their distress in the moment on these boards but there doesn't seem to be huge follow up.

I am glad you shared where you are at. It doesn't make me feel bad for where I am at (which is perhaps years behind you in this healing), but instead it gives me hope. You made it through the dark times and you are proof it's possible. You are a success story. Thank you for sharing your story.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeeJay

I may be a therapy lifer. I'm not sure.

Me too