My only intention for this post is to maybe give you some hope. Do not compare yourself to me. You are not me; I am not you. And I'm not looking for sympathy. All I want is for you to try to understand that there is always hope. Maybe you don't see it now. Just take this in and sit with it. No need to respond.

I grew up with people thinking I was stupid. In high school, teachers and friends didn't think I would live to see my graduation. My life fell completely apart after high school: parents divorced, dad abandoned me, mom hated me, had a massive breakdown, 72 hr hold in hospital, 2 weeks in crisis house, mom kicked me out, no one from my church would take me in, lived in homless shelter, my dog died in the care of my friend. I had no reason to live. The only thing worse that could happen to me is living on the streets, being raped, etc. Thankfully it didn't get worse though I came close to experiencing those things also.

But I kept following the path forward. After 2 years, I got my own apartment, was going to college part time and getting As and Bs, and had a part-time job tutoring. I proved to myself and everyone else that I am valuable.

Sadly, my life fell apart again after 2 years of independence. I spent 6 years hiding in my house. I didn't leave for anything. I didn't even go grocery shopping. I didn't go to doctors and dentists. Wound up causing myself to be diabetic and my teeth rotted to the point that I had to have 5 pulled at once.

But once again, I decided to go forward. I took baby steps. It's been almost 2 years since I started again. I'm tired of being on the bottom. I want my life...a good life. I've seen how bad things can be. I've met people worse off than me. But all the people who have suffered but succeeded all have one thing in common: they never gave up.

I'm 32. I have no job, no degree, very little family, and no friends. I have health issues. I have mental health issues: BPD, depression, anxiety, etc... I don't know what my future holds. But it has to be more than this. And so I fight. I fight for myself, for the people I love and who love me, and for my future.

You can build yourself and your life back up. It won't happen in an instant; it will take time. All you have to do is take baby steps forward. If you wind up going backwards: it's okay. Just take steps forward again. The only thing stopping you from your goals is you. It's scary...it's difficult. But it's worth the risk. What can you lose anyways by going forward? It's never too late to improve your life.

Don't give up hope. It's your choice if you do.