I posted this issue in the sexual thread at first,but know have decided to post in here as it has to do with my DID and I need some help in this area now. Hope any one reading this stays safe.

While my husband and I have our ups and downs, as any 30 year marriage is going to have, we do seem to still love each other and work at loving each other still....... but having DID he still does one thing I wish he would give up or at least hide from me better as it always triggers my deepest darkest most clinically depressed alter out of me when I find out and then all hell breaks loose.

My husband still looks at PORN!!
which in turn leaves us feeling unwanted, rejected, replaced (childhood fear)

__________

How am I to remain in a life with this man if this one thing he seems to need for his broken self is a danger to me? --maybe life and death feelings at times.

How can I truly TRUST a man that gives in more to his selfish needs than to the needs of the woman he is supposed to love? --dont I matter?

Why does he no longer want to have sex and yet he can still look at porn? --whats wrong with me ..... have I become that ugly after 30 years together?

*sigh* does he still LOVE ME or is he just afraid to be alone after all these year? --do I stay or do I go? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?