I'm just tired of it all. Tired of being depressed, tired of the ups and downs, just friggin tired of the whole thing.

Down for 4 months, I came here. Up for about 4 days. Down again. Inspired after doing some studying and up for about 4 days. Down again. Frequently it seems, I can rally when the opportunity arises only to peter out later.

I'm just tired. Today I feel like just giving in, admit I'm nuts, and sign up for a nursing home or a nut house. If I am lucky, they might just give me my own room, 3 hot meals, a housekeeper and meet all my other needs.