Hooligan I can certainly relate to your story-I am a nurse & have had such passion for many positions I held but found my sweet spot working with teens in a treatment/psych setting. I loved it & was great at my job-it truly was a passion for me. After having to take a long medical leave for a physical injury the hospital held my position open as long as possible but I was not ready to go back so they hired someone else (who was terrible btw). A few months later when I was ready to return I intended just to work as needed due to my injury & my dormant psych issues that had reared their ugly heads. When I went in our awesome little hospital had been purchased by the Wal-Mart of psych care & many long term employees had left. Since my position was filled they wanted me to be manager of the adolescent unit-I had supervised in a similar capacity in the past. I let me ego get the best of me & immediately said yes & then found myself working 16-18 hour days but only getting paid for 8 (management jobs are salary) & discovered pretty much everything I had been told was a lie. Our staffing was cut by 30% & I had to cover so many positions it was unbelievable-it worsened all my physical & MI issues-it was a freaking nightmare-In 9 months I only got to work with my kids on 2 occasions & the place became truly unsafe to work. In the state I was in I resigned with a scathing letter to said Wal-Mart of psych care how unsafe & terrible the conditions were becoming & anyway wow did I burn that bridge. That was almost 4 years ago & I still have not got up the nerve to go back to work. The entire experience left me scarred & has added to my PTSD & I go through periods where I obsess about how I should have handled things differently trying to effect change instead of bailing. Anyway whether it helps or not I just wanted you to know I get that whole "Failed" thing & as others have said this is a grieving process. I know I am often way too hard on myself & feel you are doing the same-please take care you are not the only one who is unsure & frightened about their future in regards to career choices.