i don't think it is all your fault, just a sticky situation you're in. i had the same problem with my ex my son's father, i did end up marrying someone else who has a job, we struggle financially, but i am able to get my meds through medicaid and medicare. is that a possibility for you? i am disabled that is why i'm on it, i was in several car accidents that left me with a head injury. hopefully you can get some type of insurance to cover your meds, do you work? i guess i'm just lucky to have what i have, i got it when i was on a pshyc ward and the secretaries set it all up for me as i wasn't able to fend for myself.