Still trying to figure out how to post or start a new thread. Just want to chat really.

My ****.... married 22 yrs. I thought we had thd dream. She got to stay home and raise our 3 beautiful boys... never had to work outside the home. We weren't rich, but comfortable. I get divorce papers out of the blue... she still hasnt explainex why 3 years later. She wont speak to me. Her 15 yr younger bf is now living the house im still paying for but no longer allowed inside.
I just got fired from a job of 13 years... no explanation there either. They hired a kid much younger and cheaper. NC is a "Right to work state" meaning they can terminate you for no reason at all and you have no recourse.
I have 2 goals every day.... get out of bed and dont eat a bullit. Ive only been successful with the 2nd.
my 17 yo doesnt speak to me either... blames me for the divorce I think, but who knows.
I never cheated, hit or abused... ever.... I still dont get it.

My life is ****ed.... I used to own a lot of realestate that was providing income so I could quit my stinky job. SHE WALKED OFF WITH half a million in real estate and never lifted a paintbrush. That was our kids education and our retirement. She refuses to sell anything to pay for kids school. Im now jobless so im no help there. My Kids are THE ONLY reason I havent eaten a bullet. I have to shove suicidal thoughts aside every ****ing day.
Yeah..I got meds. They dont work. I used to exercize and I know what a huge benefit that is for depression... but my hip is now ****ed making it really hard. Cant jog. Bought an elliptical because I thought it woukdnt make the hip hurt.... wrong!

I just want the pain to stop. I want my life back. Its all pointless. Im slowly swirling down the drain... **** it.