It's just my opinion, which is meaningless because I have no qualifications, only personal experience, and we're just strangers writing messages to each other on a forum, but I have to say that going off your meds cold turkey because you felt healthy and then self-medicating with alcohol sounds like a high-stakes error. Like the weather or the ocean, mental illness can pose the most danger to you when you forget to respect its potential for destruction. Your problems are none of my business but I don't want to see you or anyone else repeat my mistakes.