Hi afeelingd, for the befriending yourself bit.........the dark parts.........one thing I'd definitely recommend is some more self-compassion
From your posts I'd say that a lot of things have been out of your control, or are going to be difficult to deal with??? But with a bit more support........
And with the reaching out to others bit........well you've already done so well here (!!) but.......IRL maybe that reaching out doesn't have to be as hard as it may seem??? Maybe start by dropping some people short texts or emails for now........just things you can very gradually (in your own time!!) build on.
And the thoughts/concerns about whether you have friends or not, the considering reaching out.........is a real positive, kudos to you!!
But for now/regardless..........we're here for you, you're not alone!!

Alison