Having a really hard time of things right now. The depression really has its grips on me. I feel like I am in slow motion and can't do anything. I just want the pain to stop. I am supposed to be starting php soon but don't know exactly when. Not knowing the details is making things worse. I called a crisis line the other night and the woman told me to just make a cup of tea and relax. It was so useless. I cry everyday. In the morning I am anxious because I have to live through another day of this. I just need it all to stop. I have suicidal thoughts but am not actively suicidal. Even without being suicidal I would even take going inpatient right now if they could make the feelings stop. Relief can't come soon enough.

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