I am so sorry that you are in pain (I'm one who doesn't know the back story). But a dosage mistake -- well, it's a mistake.

Speaking strictly from myself, I've noticed that when my self-messages about how "It doesn't matter" or "I don't care" are strongest, it's usually because something matters so much that it hurts, and I can't stand the hurt anymore and am walling myself off from caring with those messages. Of course, these attempts not to feel anything make the pain worse. Yesterday, my T reminded me that depression so muddles our brains that we do the very things that make it worse -- pushing people away, isolating, negative self-talk, etc.

You matter to your many friends here.

<font color="purple">((((((((You mattter))))))))</font>