Quote:
Originally Posted by healed84
I am thinking I wouldn't be so F-up if I hadn't been abused, that maybe I would if hand a chance at healthy no dysfunctional relationships if I hadn't been abused.
If you would have had one healthy T relationship before all the crappy Ts- you could probably have not been through everything you have been through with your other Ts.
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I agree. My initial abuse at a very young age set me up for more abuse events throughout my life. I learned my dysfunctional responses at the hands of the couple that tortured me when I was 5. They taught me to stay silent, to fear, to be submissive, that it hurt less to just stay still, and that if I dissociated I disappeared too to a safer place. That set me up to continue taking whatever abuse came my way in silence and submission, over and over again.
Those were dysfunctional lessons that screwed me up for decades. Had they not taught me those lessons, I suspect my life would have gone quite differently. I lost so much time and so much of my true self. So much time wasted and energy expended recovering from what never, ever should have been. No one needs abuse.