H3rmit, I hear you. I really do. I had an experience of pain that I just cannot fully explain. I was on the floor sobbing and calling out to my higher power to help me. (In my case, God) It was sheer agony and I had this outpouring of pain in the form of tears. There was no one there for me as I live alone and I have no relationship. I have a therapist but he is not that close to me. I was alone however, this experience of asking a power higher than me to help me......it changed me forever. I now know that I am loved as I see little things happening. There are now three new friend prospects in my life. I didn't see it happening slowly. The process was already occurring. I just began to see that (my God) was working on getting me the things that I needed. I am not here to push anything on you. I am only here so you understand that I understand your pain. I can feel you right now like no other..... I wish you gentle and peaceful blessings on your beautiful soul.