Hey MoonDog, thanks for sharing your story.

Do you have any kind of visitation or split custody with the kids? If you're having trouble communicating with them, one thing I recommend would be to write letters. Send birthday cards, thinking of you cards, and just general 'how are you' cards.

I had a friend who's parents divorced, and her mother made it sound like it was all the father's fault. The mother fed lies to her, and generally made the father out to sound evil and horrible. After a few years when she got older, she saught out her dad to find out his side of the story. Turns out he wasn't as horrible as her mom had made him out to be, and one of the things that convinced her was when she saw a huge pile of cards he'd sent her that the mother had intercepted and threw away without ever telling her. (The dad mailed letters, but also kept a duplicate copy for himself.)

Maybe you might want to consider doing this with your kids. Even if your ex trashes the letters before the kids see them - they might come to you one day wanting your side of the story, and you can have a paper trail to prove you're a loving father who only wants to love and care for his kids.

Anyway - not sure if this helps or not, but please know you're not alone, and there are people who care. I hope this forum can help you! *hugs*