Actually... Thanks for posting something to the thread... I feel like I can rant just a little bit more, now :-D

I found a journal... And some articles about studying medicine / student doctors in this country. And... It helped. They talked about their selection criterion and problems with the selection process and so on... And it helped me feel a bit calmer about things.

There is basically a big chunk of discretion. And they don't want to be too transparent about their selection criterion precisely because of that. But it was possible to read between the lines... Stuff about increasing diversity (because of knowing full well that the best of the south city kids are every bit as good as the best of the local kids etc)... And stuff about identifying the people who really wanted to do it. I think, because, a lot of people do apply because of parental pressure and the like. And so people do... Sort of self-stabotage in the interview. Or come across as ambivalent. So it is... An easy way to let them off the hook, if that makes sense.

I actually made it through to interview before... Then right at the end they asked me what I thought was the main thing standing in my way of succeeding as a medical doctor. And I said that I was really bad at math (maybe I had dyscalculia) and that I wasn't sure I would be good enough at the science. Which was all true. Which was all... Me expressing ambivalence. Anyway... I found an article where the person who interviewed me was one of the authors... And she said that there were high drop out rates for students selected in on my criterion who were then made to do first year who... Couldn't do the science. So... They heard my ambivalence and decided for me. Rightly.

And I decided I wanted it enough to... Take a full year to prepare... And... I really do think... That I'll be okay. Some other articles, too... Students relating their experiences with that first year... Take-home is 'it will seem overwhelming. break it down into smaller, simpler, manageable tasks. don't worry about what other people are saying about their grades or whatever because it makes no difference to how well you are doing... stay focused on improving yourself... try and find friends who don't bring social dramas... post-pone starting up a relationship'.

All very sensible. It is just... One year of your life...

A lot of people decide... Arts students... Have more fun. And they... Are more interested in fun. Which is perfectly fine... Really... Though... It makes me angry when they are taking the place (accommodation or otherwise) of another student who does really want to be there / is prepared to put in the work. I guess the trouble is that you can't really decide who's who before things start... Unless you go by past performance... Which only compounds injustice...