I'm re-reading my post here. And wow, yeah that sounds super confrontational and mean. I apologize, that is not at all the tone I was trying to give off.
I stand by what I said, sex, in my opinion, is not something what should determine the quality of a relationship. But it sounds like you know that, it also sounds like this is just the surface of some larger issues.
My advice would be to lay it down simply for him. You're unhappy and give the reasons why. Let him know that you are willing to work to make things better, by talking, attending therapy, whatever is needed.
If your partner is unwilling to acknowledge your unhappiness and/or is unwilling to work with you make things better, then that honestly doesn't sound like much of a partner to me. I wish you all the best of luck.

(P.S. Sorry again for my first post, I can get pretty sensitive about the subject, as I find the notion of sex (or lack thereof) causing people to act cruelly to be repugnant. But that's not your situation and the last thing I wish to be is rude or insensitive.)