Get rid of the drinking and sex and the top part of your thread could be me. Lots of suicidal thoughts, worse I've been in 20 years, scared that I will act on my sui plans.

I haven't had the sudden jump to hypo, but I have had days with chronic aggitated mind, but not a happy one.

My meds were changed and I am waiting to go up but so far still quite depressed.

People here say that if you are feeling good and there is no harm to yourself or others to enjoy it, but I always question it and worry about it.

Basically I have no decent advice for you, but I wish you the best and hope your mood stabilizes