Hi

I understand completely. I've felt the same way at different times. Lately I've started writing an email with everything I want to say and then waiting 24 hrs to make sure I still want to say what I have written. If I feel my brain is trying to manipulate a response sometimes I'll tell her that. I'll say my brain needs reassurance you are still there and we are ok. She responds accordingly and I appreciate that.

Try writing out what you want to say and then waiting.