I just sent her this text:

I appreciate it that you're proud of me. But I feel like you are pushing me to do things that I am unable to do right now. My PTSD is completely out of control. I become overwhelmed with the thought of getting a job, going to daily AA meetings and joining a homegroup. I just finished my fears list today and it brought up a lot of stuff more me. The panic will not stop and I have nothing to take to make it stop. I may check into arbour house if I can't calm down. I need to take a break from everything right now. I can't meet you on Sunday. I don't know when we will meet again. I promise if I feel like drinking, I'll call someone.

***

I'm putting her name in the box on the shelf and I'll pull it out when I am ready to deal with her, when I am calm and can make a rational decision about whether or not to keep her as my sponsor.