It's always hard when a loved one passes or leaves, and the fact you didn't get to say good bye, well that is a strange hurt that no one will ever understand that hasn't been there. Unfortunately you will always feel a tinge of pain when it comes to that. I can somewhat understand, but in a different light as my father left when I was young and never came back. I still dont know him, and it hurts. While by no means is it the same as losing your mother, which I know is extremely painful, as mine is gone too, I have come to learn that it will always hurt, but the pain gets easier to bear as time goes on. I'm sorry you didn't get to say goodbye, but I'm sure she can still hear your. Be strong ((hugs))