While I was diagnosed with bipolar 17 years ago I don't remember having this difficult of a time. I'm not really depressed.....I'm not really anything. I don't have anxiety but I'm finding myself very anxious at work lately. Tomorrow is a big day for me at work and it's all I can think about. I've lost sleep over it. I work in the medical field so if I have a bad day people can be hurt.

I just don't ever recall bipolar being such a stumbling block for me as it has been lately. My doctor changed my meds a while ago so I don't know if that's it but when I told him about my recent struggle he didn't think too much about it. Of course I only see him for 3 minutes at a time so what does he know?

So instead of thinking of my shift tomorrow as one long 12-hour shift I've broken it down into hours in my mind. Each hour requires certain tasks. I hope it works. Tomorrow I'll be in a new situation and while I told my boss that I was not confident I assured her that I need to just plow through it and accomplish my goals for the day. God, I hope I get through it without doing any damage.