faking happiness drains you and sometimes you do need to vent it out, unfortunately you do have to pick the people you can do that too because they either have their own issues or just feel so uncomfortable and don't know what to say. Ryan, if you can please seek a support group PLEASE don't become a statistic just because you're a guy doesn't mean that you can't do this. it's not embarrassing to have these issues and you don't have to sit alone and dwell on this