I agree with stop dog. Do what is helpful. Perhaps go easier on yourself a bit if you can do that.

From my own experience with my therapy process, my former therapist was rather distant about contact, but my current one sees that my reaching out needs to be answered because of a serious early deprivation. He doesn't do this with everyone. He determines which clients need what type of thing and tries to do what is most beneficial. Also I see this as stage dependent. In other words, there will be times when I feel that reaching out is really important and other times when I can move through things, hardly thinking about that.

I am lucky that I have a very flexible and nuanced therapist who sees each person as distinct in the way they should be approached and handled. He has no overarching rules which is not to say that he has no principles or boundaries.

But he has also somehow instilled in me the capacity to become more flexible with myself and tolerate the variety of states and phases I may be in, try to do the best considering the circumstances, and not be too involved with judging it all.