I spoke with a new potential T about a similar matter. She told me she have had clients who wanted her to go after them if the left the session out of anger or being upset. Others, she just left alone for a while as she knew theyīll come back next week anyway. She also told me that she usually asks the client what he or she want her to do in such situations and I think the only way to prevent unwnted reactions from your T is to just tell her. Tell her you donīt want her to call you.
I think it must be quite hard for a T to just know how a client wants them to act. An an example, Iīm the opposite from you in this aspect, I would be really disappointed if a T didnīt call me or e-mailed me if I didnīt show up to a session without leaving a message.
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Originally Posted by granite1
I know my T calling me should be no big deal but it is staying in the back of my mind and is making me so uncomfortable .the situation is this . I was away at the beginning of this week on a scrapbooking retreat. I usually have T on Tuesday at 3 . it was 310 and my cell phone rings at first I did not recognize her voice. she said hi granite sorry to bother you but I wanted to know if this was the week you were going to be away, i forgot to write down the date. and when you didn't show up... I did finely realize who it was . she never calls me unless it is in response to me calling her and that is rare maybe like 4 times in 4 years. anyway I told her it was and she askes if I was away now and I said that I was . she said that she was sorry to interrupt my retreat and wanted to be sure I was ok.i told her that I was fine and that it was ok . she said that if everything was ok that she would see me on the 17th and to have a good time .I verified it would be on the 17thand said goodbye.
this is what is bothering me . if I had not shown up for a reason other then I was away and she had just forgotten . why was she calling me . I didn't think that T were suppose to do this . I thought if you didn't show up because you were upset at something or are unable to deal with something etc... the T was not suppose to chase after someone. I am a person who doesn't mind strict boundaries it can be tough at times but it feels safe . I hate expectations. I have never not showed up for T without calling or giving her notice . im not one for playing the chase after me thing. I don't know how to respond to it at all . it makes me uncomfortable if she might call me if I choose not to go to session etc.. if I ever did that it wouldn't be because I want her to call me or anything .it would mean I need the space . thoughts on t calling if you don't show up for T.
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