Well, in my honest opinion that isn't an uncommon feeling when dealing with depression. I have noticed within myself that I have certain destructive habits when I am in a down state and tend to act on them as if it is programmed in my mind to do so. I do find that self moderation and having a support system to point out when the behaviors are happening will help you understand when it is happening and eventually you can learn how to alter the behavior and maybe channel towards the good. Try not to let yourself get down hon.