Depression works in so many heinous ways....but you can fight back...I see you live in Canada...not quite sure how far north you are...but getting enough sunlight really comes into play....vitamin deficiency.....do you exercise...knowing again its tougher in the winter months....seeing specialist helps....options in medication....therapy....and talking to your significant other.....I know its tuff...you have to educate them in what you are going through...they have nooooo clue....been fighting depression for 30 plus years...still learning...looking...not giving up hope......I hope this can help you deal with your situation.....Artichack