Well, he's pretty satisfied with our sex life so maybe he won't leave me because I don't enjoy it as much as I should?

I also think a sex therapist at some point would be good just because there are a lot of things sexually we don't know how to do and we don't know how to figure it out because messing up basic things just sort of kills the mood…I'm not sure if just instructional books and videos would be enough either. I don't think they'd be detailed enough, but I don't know.

I can believe some people can be happy with ongoing issues, but I'm not sure if I can. I think about this stuff almost all the time. This isn't recent either, I've been obsessing over sex ever since I knew what it was. It just disturbs me now that being with someone I love and care about and how I'm finally able to associate touch with positive emotions, that it still doesn't "work". I don't know, maybe that's still in the realm of a regular therapist and not a sex therapist. I also can't see my boyfriend going with me more than once in a while to a regular therapist because our issues are almost exclusively sex/physical intimacy related. And it's not COMPLETELY on me, he has his own issues too. I'll talk to him and see what he says. I just feel self-conscious that the first thing they're going to ask is if we're living together and when we say no, it'll be why not? We keep getting asked that and if we're married or not.