But that's irrelevant! I asked him to marry me, he agreed, we are married, and it is up to me to make the best of that for myself, as well as for him. Yes, I can see that logically, that is also up to him, but since he doesn't know that I'm not happy, he has no responsibility to do anything about that.

And I have no idea how things could be different anyway, and any change I could imagine would be for the worse. My T refuses to believe me, but it's true, I can't see how anything could change for the better in my relationship. Hence, what I need to do is make myself content with the situation. After all, everybody always tells us that we are the perfect couple.

This makes me think of an episode of my favourite (British) radio show, where they played sound charades (like regular charades, but since it's on radio, they speak instead of act), and one team had to illustrate The Sopranos. They spoke in high-pitched voices and swore a lot; all the swearing was beeped out and one of them said towards the end "We'll be bleeping with the fishes!"

While writing this I've been listening to various sound clips from the show - I wanted to see if I could find that particular one on Youtube, but I didn't - and I've been alternately giggling and laughing for ten minutes. Which made me feel better.