I think you've captured the essence of capacity to love quite well Hankster.
It involves the concept of separateness.
Codependency, excessive caretaking, come from the needs (including fears) of the codependent person. So does dependency, which I think is associated with attachment love. I don't, however, think it has to involve disrespect and boundaries; I think psychological boundaries, including sense of self, are the issue.
Of course this isn't some universal view of love or capacity to love, it's my understanding of how capacity to love is defined in the psychoanalytical sense. I usually call this 'mature love'. There are many types of love and many views about love.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster
To those who say, no thats not it, its something else, i would challenge them to name what that something else is. I think Fromm's quote can be applied to someone who is codependent, who thinks they have the capacity to love but actually they lack respect / boundaries. That would describe me in my early adult years. You think you are intensely interested in another persons growth, but really its not in a good way. Wanting to fix someone else because you think they should change is not love.
But - how do you fix someone else who does want to change? The army way? A magic way?
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