That is a good, solid list. Up until the last year or so I binge drank and did awful things. Then the next few days would be awful depressions. At one point I went to AA and that was the best thing ever. Those meetings were more helpful than any therapy I have had. Once I got my correct dx and went on meds the drinking and pill popping stopped so I assume it was more a self medication than addiction, but AA was still helpful.

I have done such awful things drunk- things my husband would be so hurt from and my kids horrified. I hardly ever drink to point of drunk now bc it seems 1 or 2 drinks now makes me instantly depressed and suicidal which takes all the fun out of drinking

Look at your list everyday. Do you have a therapist to help? Best of luck to you