Quote:
Originally Posted by archipelago
I was thinking about how one of the things that is so crucial to health and growth is healthy narcissism, or in other words, the capacity for self-love. Much suffering stems from problems in that specific area, whether a complete lack of the capacity or distortions in it. And one thing a therapist does tend to do is model healthy narcissism, which just by being presented continually to the client has the possibility of being internalized. This is an indirect form of love, but there are some therapists that are aware that this is part of what they are doing, whether they label it or describe it in these terms or not.
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This. I just can't emphasize enough how important learning to accept this in myself has been and continues to be.
Being in the shelter I see so many women who think that love means putting someone else first, whether that be an abusive partner or even their children. If you continually put others before yourself though it doesn't take very long for your love to turn to resentment and hate. Even with children. Yes, a child's needs are a priority, but if you can't help yourself you can't help anyone... It's like those oxygen masks on the plane. Put your own on first, because if you pass out who is going to take care of your child.
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'...
At poor peace I sing
To you strangers (though song
Is a burning and crested act,
The fire of birds in
The world's turning wood,
For my sawn, splay sounds,)
...'
Dylan Thomas, Author's Prologue
Last edited by JustShakey; Feb 14, 2015 at 03:11 PM.
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