This hypomania/maybe mania now (?) is getting really, really dysphoric. I feel like if I could do productive things, it'd been less irritating, but I AM attempting to sleep yet. Two nights of damn near no sleep, and a week or less than perfect sleep. I wish I could just flick a switch and make it happen, but I'm not tired at all. I just lie there and kind of half dream, but I'm really still awake. My brain will not shut up. At all. The Seroquel makes me a little zombielike right after I take it, which I'm really hating right now, but I absolutely CANNOT sleep. Not even Ativan knocked me out. I'm so tempted to just not take the Seroquel because I'd feel less drunk then, but I won't. That's a really, really, really bad idea.

Does anyone have any tips for how to sleep while manic? I've tried just about every sleeping pill out there, and I'm not willing to turn to anything illegal... It's frustrating. I feel like my only two options are to continue trying and then only get more frustrated when I can't or just staying up and enjoying it. I realize my medications likely need to be tweaked, but I have no idea when I'll get to see my new psych doctor. Haven't been called yet. In the meantime, I want to do everything in my power not to get hospitalized. I'm wide awake right now, so I'm going to try to do fun (not reckless) things to burn off the energy.

I'm just so irritable. I feel like throwing or breaking things, but I won't. The impulse is so strong, but I'm usually pretty good at fighting it.