WIth everything going on, and i'm trying to get better, but not succeeding much. Everything is such a struggle. I'm coughing again, my chest is tight, etc. I went to my gp the other day, and not much came out of it - just that they're going to send me to do a sleep study to find out why I'm so sleepy all the time.

Today, when I got home, picked up a message my doc's office left. They said they've faxed a referral to the hospital where I'm to get the study done, and I have to call them next week to make an appointment. The problem is that they didn't give me the number to call. I tried calling my doc's office, but they were closed by then.

I spoke with a rep regarding health insurance for work. He told me that they may have questions later because half (2 out of 4) people are from the same family, and I have pre-existing conditions.

None of my illnesses are curable - just wasting money buying meds (7 meds that I'm 'suppose' to take on a daily basis).

Anyway - I'm so discouraged, so friggin tired of fighting incurable diseases. No insurance. Just breathing is hard work for me - literally.

Lately, I just have bad thoughts running through my head.

I know people here care about me, but it's so hard! It's like I'm in a maze, looking for the way out - when in reality, there is no end, except for the permenant one. Sort of like false hope. Am I making any sense? Probably not. Guess I'd better stop. Cant think, cant stay awake.