I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling with this. Have you considered speaking to a grief counselor? It helped me out a lot when I lost my mother and my son. They are able to help you find ways to process the loss and move forward from it. While you will never forget or cease to hurt from the loss, there are ways to deal with it. You continue to miss them, and you continue to remember them, but are able to move forward with yourself and your life. Best of luck, and I'm sorry you are grieving so. ((hugs))