Welcome to Psych Central (PC). Sorry to hear you are being abused and it has worn you down. When suicidal thoughts enter your ahead it is not a time to be afraid but it is a good time to talk to your psychiatrist and maybe they will adjust the meds or replace them.

Also this is a good time to have a safety plan in case you feel you might actually plan to act on thoughts or do self harm. Here is what a safety plan is that keeps you from taking harmful actions.
Psych Central - Search results for Suicide safety plan

There are many caring people here at PC.

What about going to a therapist that can help get to the root of the problem?

You may find the forums of interest

http://forums.psychcentral.com

After 5 posts you can do the Chat Room Forums at Psych Central - Calendar

Feel free to private message me or any community liason by left clicking on their name underlined in blue to the left of the post and selecting Send a private message to .....[their name]