Hi kray bray may,

I realize everyone has a different experience with their therapist(s), but is there sort of a general picture as to what a good therapist is like?
Well I'd say "a good therapist" will depend on your needs and what you want from them, different people do need different therapists with different skills but ultimately there's that all important "human" element as well............whether you personally can gradually feel a connection with them, whether you can learn to trust them/feel safe with them, feel both supported and empowered by them.........and of course there's the things anyone would want from a T e.g. to be listened to, to be understood, to feel they can empathise with you, to be respected..............and they'd be giving you coping tools, helping with/through difficulties............

It sounds like it isn't as much you holding you back but much more the anxiety, it might have it's roots somewhere though..........with the depression, with the feeling of being weak or inferior or fear of being weak or inferior, lack of confidence or self esteem, too high expectations from others or ones you're imposing on yourself...........???? Perhaps something to think about???

And this bit sounds like a vicious circle........"I feel that I should be doing more but can't quite summon the motivation. Then I feel conflicted about feeling weak, anxious and tired because I didn't actually expend any effort".........you're feeling weak, you're feeling tired.............you're going to be going straight back to lacking motivation.
Perhaps you could try setting yourself more manageable goals to build on, and it doesn't matter where they're going to take you remember...........it's much more about you doing what you can.
And really acknowledge the achievements you're making, give yourself time to praise yourself, to recognize the strength/the power of those achievements before jumping straight ahead to something you think you should be/aren't doing.



Alison