Iīve been thinking a lot about this myself and I would personally be very positive about such a comment as your T left you about love in therapy. Itīs a bit hard to determine if she means
her love for clients or if she means that the love always has to be reciprokated.
Of course I donīt think that she has any right to expect therapeutic love from a client, you canīt expect that to happen. Itīs all about the therapeutic alliance I think, sometimes both T and client feels therapeutic love, sometimes the client defines the T:s love as something else.
I use the word "therapeutic love" as it is a kind of love you canīt explain or compare with other situations and relationships. Iīve been there, feeling very deeply about my T but I never thought about wanting her to be my friend or us spending time together outside therapy.
A T:s therapeutic love is something you share with other clients and I wouldnīt think of it as something she specifically asks from you. I see the love more as a tool that can be healing in many ways.
Perhaps this book would be interesting to you:
"The intimate hour, Love and sex in psychotherapy" by Susan Baur.
Quote:
Originally Posted by musinglizzy
My T have been doing a little bickering back and fort this past week by Email. I planned to actually talk about it on Thursday, but she had to cancel.
Here is exactly what she said about that:
Therapy cannot work without love. How are you going to let yourself be that vulnerable without it? It's not a love that would translate into a relationship beyond the therapy one, but if it isn't there, it's a lost cause. Most people find that they fall a little bit in love with their therapists at some time during the work, but that as they begin to heal and put themselves back together again, that feeling shifts toward affection and connection. It's magical and lovely.
I made a point to tell her I am NOT in love with her, or anyone else for that matter. I don't think love is something to mess around with. Pay a person for love? Love a person you pay?
Stopdog, I would definitely be interested in hearing from YOU. Its quite clear you find NO love in your therapy, but you see two. It works for you, right? Or you wouldn't go.
I don't believe therapy without love is a lost cause. Yes, I know many of us here feel love for our therapists.... but I myself fight it. I will say I find it hard not to feel some sort of attachment (maybe not love, maybe attachment is the right word) with a T, considering you are telling them things you wouldn't tell most. But what are peoples' thoughts on my T's words? Thoughts, anyone?
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